text: Nicky Nasrallah | photography: Mike Ford  

With more than 14,000 subscribers and more than a million views on YouTube, Valerie Lapomme is an internet superstar thanks to her online vlogs. The problem? She’s not real.

Meet Hannah Spear. This young and statuesque comedic force is the face of Sexy Nerd Girl, a YouTube channel about an attractive gamer/comic book nerd.

But she’s so much more than that. She’s also a member of Bad Dog Theatre’s Repertory Players, and the star of two brand-spanking new web series, Versus Valerie, a spin-off of her famous alter ego, and Girls Night Out.

Nicky: Hey there, Sexy Nerd Girl. That’s you, right?

Hannah: I guess it’s me.

N: Why is it you? Are you actually a nerdy person, or is that just the character?

H: I wouldn’t say I’m nerdy to the extent that the character is, but, sure, I’m a nerd. I’m pretty big into Star Trek. My mom always had TNG on. She also really liked Deep Space Nine when I was a kid, and Voyager, obviously. But I don’t really play video games and I didn’t read comic books until I started doing the series. Now I read a couple of books. I really like Walking Dead, Fables is cool, Invincible is awesome, and Chew is another one I like. Oh, and Game Of Thrones. I’m crazy for it, I’ve read all the books. But certainly not to the scope that Valerie is a nerd.

N: So are there definitely things that you talk about on the show that you have no idea about?

H: One hundred per cent. There’s just too much. Because we have eight, or more now, wonderful writers who each have their own area of nerd expertise, so for me to actually have all that information living in my brain would be insane. But we definitely look everything up before I say it on camera, so I’m just like “Doobily, doobily!”

N: Do you have a “fangirl/fanboy” following yet?

H: I suppose online, yes. We introduced Valerie to the world in this vlogger way, and we were putting up content so regularly that it would be hard not to get an audience. She has her own Facebook and Twitter. There are people who message her on a regular basis.

N: Do people think she’s real?

H: Yes. The thing is we don’t outright say she’s not real, but there’s a Sexy Nerd Girl website link at the end of every video, so if people click on that, it’ll say “Cast” and then it’ll say “Hannah Spear has been an improviser for blah, blah blah…” So if you do some digging you’ll find out she’s not real. But if you just meet her at face value, you’ll just be like “Oh, this is a cool chick.” It’s easy to get confused.

But there are people who really love her. There are people who have asked her out on dates. There are people who have asked to meet her. There are people who have shared some very personal things with her.

N: March was a big month for you with two premieres. You did the pilot project for Girls Night Out as well. Is that one going to follow the same girls in every episode?

H: It’s going to be the same girls every time dealing with different issues in this club bathroom. The two creators, Marni Van Dyk and Carly Heffernan, are both awesome, strong, sassy, hilarious women. It was so fun to be on that set with them, with everyone just cracking jokes the whole time.

N: Do you ever Google yourself?

H: I have. Just to see what comes up.

N: I Googled you too, and I found some things. I want you to comment on them. On www.people.com/tv/Hannah-Spear, on the Hannah forum there are no comments yet. How does that make you feel?

H: I am grateful. I’m not on TV! It would be weird if someone was like “First to post. We want more Hannah!” Who is that person? Probably my grandma.

N: Moving on to Ancestry.com. Do you know how many men have married Hannah Spear? Most of them are in Massachusetts and Pennsylvania. I want you to comment on some of your husbands.

H: Ok, let’s do it.

N: Jeremiah J. Kahier of Suffolk, Mass.

H: I remember him. Too big of a beard.

N: Ephraim Hall from New Hampshire.

H: Ephraim! A Woody Allen-type. Very neat and tidy. A bit too OCD for my taste.

N: Issac Baker of Tennessee.

H: Issac was a dark period in my life.

N: Leonard S. Deal from Philadelphia.

H: Leonard. What a strong man’s name. With strong arms.

N: Hardin Smith of Alabama. You married him on Nov. 8, 1857. How old are you?

H: I’m seven thousand years old. I’m in my eighteenth twenty-somethings.

N: You married Joshua Spear in Massachusetts and you had a daughter whom you also named Hannah.

H: Very bold choice of me.

N: That’s a lot of expectation for her. What do you think she’ll end up like?

H: She’ll probably be the next Oprah Winfrey.

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